“Excuse
me, would you please scoot a little?” I ask humbly while travelling in the
metro.
“NO,
there’s no space”, he blurts.
“It’s
hardly a matter of few minutes. Also, I can see sufficient space in there” I
revert, this time a little flat.
“Sit
on my head”, he gestures.
***
“Would
you please give me a platform ticket? I am running out of time and there’s a
long queue at another window”. I ask at the counter.
“This
window is now closed” the ticket guy bangs the words in my face.
“But
you haven’t even gotten off your seat yet. Please do” I try convincing him.
“Don’t
you understand, it’s closed now. I have been sitting here since early in the
morning” he replies arrogantly, lamenting his menial job.
(Btw,
this Indian Railways’ UTS App for offline ticket bookings sucs!!!)
***
“Hello,
am I speaking to Mr. Batra”? I ask in a gentle tone.
“Yeah,
who is it?” He reverts.
“Sir,
this is Anant from Corporate Communications. I want to get some information
regarding the recent Press Release from your dept. Have you got a minute to
talk, this is really important”.
“I am
in a meeting, you can talk to Priya” He responds imperiously.
“I
already had a word with her. She is unaware of the same” I add.
“Oh then, drop me an email. I will talk to
you later this evening”. Mr Batra hangs the call.
(Neither the mail got a reply, nor did he give a call back)
 |
| Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash |
***
“We
are planning a daycation this weekend. Guys, please confirm your availability
by the eod as the arrangements are to be made due in time. Those who won’t be
able to make it, do mention at least” I share the message in the college Wsp
group.
Later
that night…
Only
eleven group members responded, out of the total 37 in the group, despite being
seen and read by 34.
“Gentle
reminder…” I pin the text.
Few
more respond.
.
.
.
Finally, 27 of us made it to the amazing
tour. However, hardly fifteen-odd of them reacted to the text. Rest, waited to
get the personal invitation call.
***
“Hi
Roohi, good morning. Would you please park your vehicle properly as it
obstructs mine daily” I conveyed the issue to my neighbour waving morning
greetings towards her.
“Ah,
hi Anant, very good morning. So sorry. I’ll take care of it from tomorrow” she
waves back.
.
(a
month, and nearly ten kind reminders later)
.
“Offo…my
bad, again!!! I’ll certainly do it tomorrow onwards. Sorry for your daily
inconvenience, Anant” she responds even before I nudged her.
.
.
.
And
she never parked her vehicle right. Ultimately I had to find a new parking
space.
***
Travelling
in a metro or any other public transport, how many times we come across people
who are in desperate need of a seat – a shabbily-attired man in his fifties
having given much to his country and job but has received meagre in return; or
a woman carrying innumerable societal constraints’ burden; or a depressed
physically healthy, yet mentally broken young chap or a girl. Offering a seat
to these people may not seem obvious to us at first instance, however, once we
get deep into the dismal state of their lives, we won’t skip a second in doing
them the favor. Though we shouldn’t expect as if we are living in a fairyland
where there are all roses and petals, people should at least offer seats
out of their 'civic responsibility' to those who are in real need. Offering it
to someone like me (in the experience I shared above) even when I wasn't in that real a need, out of their 'kindness' is obviously a cherry on the cake. And
that’s okay (with a heavy heart) if it’s missing, not to mention that
the cake must be there at all times.
The
unwillingness of disgruntled officials to fulfil their assigned duties is
making the entire administrative machinery languish, and putting gigantic
obstacles on the road to development. Common people like you, me, and
millions out there are at the receiving end of their lackadaisical attitude.
From local banks to booking windows, from govt/private offices to any customer
service platforms, irrespective of the excellence these organizations are
achieving on their balance sheets, the bleak reality lies in the disgraceful
way with which most of their employees treat their day-to-day
beneficiaries/clients/users. A typical govt executive doesn’t respond well and
many a time takes hours to complete a five-minute work. The same executive then
goes to some other office and faces the exact same. This lacklustre way of
taking 5 hours for a 5-minute job is such engrained in the organizational
space, which now has turned into a vicious web even biting the biters. Where
lies the solution? A little more courteous workforce sensitized about the
preciousness of people’s time.
The external world today is unfortunately abundant with people who carry the sadistic power to utter loads of trash in a single blow. You dare talk to them and your entire day will be ruined. Despite having the solution for all your issues, and being entitled, (in fact, being liable) for resolving your queries, they will keep making you move from person to person until you get completely lost in irritation’s labyrinth and fall prey to your own exhaustion and temper. These kinda toxic people may get respect out of their authority but never really garner it in true spirit. Nonsensical to expect these people to change, they won't. So, better build, skill, and empower yourself up to get the work done by hook, or by crook! Develop alternate meaningful contacts and invest in grooming your own authority and climbing up the hierarchy’s ladder to the top echelons. And once you achieve that, become a paragon of kindness.
It
hardly takes a couple of seconds to react to a message or send an emoji serving
an important purpose in a Wsp group. But, there still exist many, who find it a
mountainous task to do. At times, they don’t even do it deliberately, nor do
they ignore those texts, nor hold any grudges; it’s just that they themselves
don’t know why the hell they do what they do, or probably they’re like that
only! These are the people who play the biggest culprit in cancellation of any
plan. And yes, unlike the above, these people really need to change themselves
positively. They must be a little more courteous towards others, assign (at
least) a minimum value and respect to their say, and no matter what, extract a
minute out of their schedules to respond to the messages where it really is
important, maybe not for them, but for others. No one is that engaged in life
to spare a minute for the same. (Ignoring someone for a sensible reason
is altogether a different story, and is absolutely fine to some extent. The
above holds true only for the Wsp experience I shared above).
I
still remember that one neighbour who always used to park her vehicle blocking
mine despite being nudged and requested tens of times. Trying to
understand the absurd actions of such people I got to realise that many people live in their own world having no civic responsibility towards
others. (Yes, for our own peace, it is okay to live a life without worrying
about others. However, it doesn’t mean at any cost that one starts taking
others' peace for granted with their careless behaviour and indifferent
attitude) From leaving the movie hall seats messily adorned with popcorn, to
leaving the restaurant or any other public restrooms dirty after use; from
parking one’s vehicle in a disorderly fashion creating difficulties for others,
to improperly closing the door while leaving a place letting the aliens barge
in; people have left no stone unturned in making their fellow beings’ lives
difficult. The ideal way out - we all should understand the civic
responsibility we have towards society, and should always keep it into
consideration before (mis)using public property; else, get ready to bear the
brunt of our own ill-deeds.
.
.
.
All the real-life experiences shared above raise a pertinent question - where, as humans, are we all heading towards? And paint a shameful picture of the present state of mankind’s apathy. There’s a visible lack of sense of kindness, cooperation, courtesy, empathy, generosity, or civic responsibility. Be it the daily commute, a public place, an office, a virtual social world, or the neighbourhood, all are overcrowded with people adamant about making the world a challenging place to live in. Just imagine how smooth our lives would be, if everyone, or at least most of us adopt the mannerisms and behave in a way that a principled and high-on-values individual is supposed to. Neither any special efforts need to be put in, nor sophisticated skills to learn, nor investment of exorbitant amounts of money/time, just a little behavioural change, some self-control, and more mindful decisions will do wonders. Ultimately, the way out to many problems today lies in people being gentler and kinder towards each other.
Having
come this far, let me clarify one thing. If I am writing all this, it doesn’t
mean that I am looking at the world through a pessimistic lens. There do exist a good number of people out there who are putting in their very best and contributing
their part in making the world a better place to live in. Fortunately, I have
long been surrounded by some of those gems. But sadly, at the same time, those
who don’t really give a ‘fcuk’ about others (talking about the fcuk, that is
a part of every citizen’s responsibility; not to be linked with Mark Manson’s Fcuk in The Subtle Art of Not
Giving a…) and are resolute on spoiling everyone's mood with their pesky
actions (many a time inadvertently) outnumber the valued and generous ones by a
hefty margin. Instilling good values into the minds of school children by
educating them with the desired learnings would certainly be a good solution,
but, won’t really alter the miserable state of adults. Hence, the
grown-ups out there need to understand that the external world can’t do much to
make them good human beings or at least the ones who don’t invite every other
fellow citizen’s ire. They themselves will have to take their bull of
arrogance, selfishness, egotism, and cruelty by its horns overcoming all their
reluctance and conquering their abysmal habits.
We all
are living in such challenging (and distressing to some extent) times where no
matter how hard we try to keep things hunky dory, some kind of physical,
mental, or emotional torment is always up to poke its sinister nose in our
day-to-day affairs and make all our zeal and inspiration plummet to a new low.
These torments have become a regular affair to hamper our moods to such a huge
extent that we have somehow normalized them, and found solace in the belief
that life is full of such uncivilized individuals only. True, there lies no
tangible or objective solution to get this issue permanently resolved. But yes,
there certainly exists a way with which we could minimize the hardships for us
at least for short durations of time.
The
panacea (a lil Gandhian) to be better off with this seemingly incorrigible
lament, and to win over this apparently invincible demon of callousness lies in
being a little softer to others, embracing kindness, breeding courtesy,
forgiving others for their unintentional wrongs, understanding our civic and
moral responsibility, and abiding with the simple etiquettes and essential
manners. That’s it, that’s all! All of the above, will not just minimize the
bitterness from others’ lives, but more importantly, help us attract the same (the yin-yang way), and make us feel eternally
relieved.
.
.
.
As I mentioned at the very outset of the post, the arrogant man who refused to scoot allowing me to sit, the alienated official who didn’t give me the ticket, overburdened Mr Batra who ignored my query, college friends dealing with the major transitions in their lives preferring to be unresponsive on Wsp, and lastly, Roohi, sharing a complicated relationship with her boyfriend who never parked her car right, didn’t really commit a sin inviting wicked karma to act against them; but definitely contributed in adding distaste to my life’s recipe. Instead of opening a barrage of curse-filled flak against them, let me be a little KINDER, put myself into their shoes, and FORGIVE them for all their unintended wrongs.