Last morning, as I was writing the exam in the examination hall - probably the most perfect place to think about some of the major life issues and to get prompt solutions for all of them indeed. Sitting there, I was getting mixed vibes of resentment and extreme levels of lament from deep inside which were forcing me to accept the fact that, 'I am kind of a layman in Chemical engineering and also having no interest at all, in not-so-complicated 'Mass transfer' concepts'.
The question paper was staring at me as if it's going to snatch my eye-balls. But no!!! Not this time. I have already been in misery for so long, from this day onwards I won't let it bother me anymore. I stood on the bench, tore up the question paper, and gave a big grin to the invigilator.
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Well, for some security issues, I didn't do anything like this. This isn't a Rajkumar Hirani's movie and the invigilator seems a little off too.
Everyone out there in the class was diligently writing the exam and making the best out of pen-paper and calculator. And there was me, sketching all the brainstorming over the question paper itself and making some of the most serious career plans I have ever made. Anyone could have pointed me very easily as the odd one out. Well, as there's always a blessing in disguise, I saw that I wasn't the only one dealing with these kinda issues, there were few others also who were pretending their best to show that they are getting everything.
Why for the God's sake, we aimlessly walk on a never-ending road?
Why are we doing all those things which are far away from our interest??
Why are sacrificing our real talents and keep on doing the same things that the crowd is???
Let me tell you my story of college, following the principles of brevity from the very first year.
I wasn't paying much attention to what I am going to do in my life in the early days of the first semester. I wasn't having much idea that what would do and what wouldn't for me in the coming time. Neither I want to flaunt much, nor I want to boast about all those fields in which I am genuinely good, I just urge you to get a sneak peek from whatever I am going to tell you, and I assure you that this would definitely help you a lot.
I started taking part in most of the events and competitions from the very first semester. I acted
in various skits, mimes, and street plays, I took part in poetry and singing competitions. In simple words, I never left an opportunity to get on stage, no matter how big the audience was and that's the reason, fear of public speaking has been eluded out of me ( Yeah not completely but at least I don't step back out of shyness and hesitation anymore, whenever I get an opportunity ). I started making fruitful contacts very early as I was aware of the fact that 'nowadays if you want to succeed, having good contacts is as much as important as having the specific skills'.
In the 2nd year of my college, someone told me that it's a lavish life after you clear GATE and get into a PSU or an IIT for doing masters. Without having much concern about what actually I have to study and is it really of my interest or not? I started looking at a successful future, forgetting to check whether I am having any interest in it or not. I was admired by the impressive testimonials of some of the selected seniors and started to chant "PSU-PSU" to whomever I met. I was so much fascinated by the after-results of GATE that I forgot if I was taking the right road or not. I was getting so much comfort with the plan that I started telling everyone "I have a very simple strategy. I will take the GATE exam, clear it with a very good rank, get into a PSU and life would be set". I was finding it as easy as rice-bowl eating ( Well, I still laugh at myself thinking how childish and stupid I was!!! ).
2nd and half of the 3rd year passed the same way and were busy doing the blunder which I must not have. From the 5th semester, I was in a state of mayhem, 'if it is actually the field of my interest or not'. ( Finally, it was correct than late ). Many thoughts came in my mind that I have to step back but, I was so much astonished by the words 'PSU' and 'GATE' that I forced myself to keep on doing the same. I wish someone had told me that time "No hard work can take you places if you don't have any interest in whatever you're doing". No matter how many hours you give, no matter how many solicit efforts you give, if you are not having an inner motivation and interest in what you're doing, mind it but you are never going to succeed.
In the 6th semester - the last semester of the pre-final year, the water had reached almost closer to my head and I was facing problems in breathing at that time ( Hope, you won't suggest me to get an inhaler. ROFL). I was going vigil due to the constant stress because somewhere in my conscious mind, I had a thought that I am going to do a blunder and if I don't stop at this moment I wouldn't be getting any forgiveness from my side only. I started taking guidance from the stalwarts in various fields. Most of them gave a diplomatic answer and did nothing but deteriorate the situation ( Choose the ones so wisely to whom you are going to get a bit of serious advice) Even after getting some of the very good suggestions from my 'wise ones', it was my turn only to take a stand. I still remember the day, it was the 16th of March 2019 and this was the auspicious day ( yeah really ) on which I get myself free from all the constraints which strongly bound me for the last 2 years.
I was having a fear in my mind that I have already sacrificed so much in terms of time, money, and expectations from everyone to whom I had told so confidently that I am going to be a Chemical engineer ( If you know, it wasn't just the matter of last 2 years, but of around 6 years. As I had also been in Kota for 3 long years, only to be an ENGINEER ) But no worries, I had understood that even if I would study the same thing, 20 hours a day, it is still not going to help me at all.
And today, I am very much glad, satisfied, and possessing a deep level of happiness that I took a stand and made a decision that is going to make my life worthwhile.
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After an hour of continuous writing, when the rest of my friends were still busy, doing the mass transfer problems, I was done up with this blog post. And this time, as I once used to - ' wasn't feeling sorry for myself, in fact, I was glad, very glad'.
Anant, how many questions you have solved?? Sir suddenly asked me.
Sorry, I haven't any Sir. I answered, collecting courage from every nook and corner of my body.
And this time he didn't scold me, neither looked at me with an intimidating sight.
I hope you all would extract the essence from my story above.
Wishing you all great success ahead.
Well, this was my story!!!
What's yours???
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