DISCLAIMER: Throughout the post, I will be talking ONLY about unmarried couples, especially the teens who are in their early twenties or the late nineteens; as these are the ones who mostly end up finding their delicate, tender, and innocent love burning in the scorching heat of society.
‘We are somehow
living in a society where people equate love with s*x, and relationship with
crime’!
Is it really a
crime to fall in love, or does love only mean satisfying physical desires?
The above question can be perceived from different facets, so there can
be multiple answers for it. But the most accepted and plausible answer would
be – ‘no, not at all’!
Then why the
heck is it so that people always oppose your falling in love with someone? Why do people hate it, and try every resort to not let your love
seed blossom and allow it to turn into a lifelong, healthy, and fruitful tree;
why do they add sauce to the palatable Maggi you two cook together which feeds you
with blissful vitamins; and why do they always detonate
the ‘lively n lavish’ villa you two construct to find the safe haven away from
the adversities of tormenting society, where you two can spend a quality time
together?
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| Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash |
So, no doubt
these 'perpetrators' become the ones for whom you used to have sheer respect (and
maybe you still have), but now, somewhere, you get seriously disappointed and
hurt with their deliberate acts of sabotage. ‘Why do they do so? What’s wrong with them’? Every now and then, you
wanna ask them, but resist yourself, fearing the things to deteriorate even more.
There is an
inherent bias embedded in all of us that 'it’s absolutely okay for me
(and my partner) to fall in love. But, others shouldn’t.’ Others here may range
from siblings to friends, relatives, or even totally unknown people. More
or less people follow a faltering ideology i.e. ‘I can fall in love, I can be
in a relationship, but ‘they’ shouldn’t’! But why do people validate this bias? One reason they can give is that ‘I am your elder, and I know life better than you. You should follow what I say, no matter what!’. To all these elders, I
would like to request with the utmost respect, ‘sir/madam, who on earth are you
to decide for the youngers that with whom, why, and when they should fall in
love, and what they should or shouldn’t do. As far as I know, getting into a relationship is a very personal matter, so please don’t use your ‘hegemonical
authority’ to intervene in someone else’s personal love lives.’ Indeed, being an
elder, you have the moral right to give them your solicit advice, but the ball
still remains in their court to decide their final move. Age alone is never
enough to guide someone on how to live their lives, and clip someone’s relationship’s
wings saying ‘you aren’t mature enough.’ In fact, a younger person may be way more
mature and wiser than their elders at certain places. So, stop playing this
ugly ‘I am elder game.’ (This concept is also well explained by the YouTuber Shwetabh Gangwar in his excellent book, titled The Rudest Book Ever)
Besides the
age factor, the other pertinent reason for people doing this can be ‘nil.’ Yeah,
you read it right – just nothing! Ask someone why do they oppose, why don’t they
let you live peacefully, why don’t they instead of making things easier for you, complicate – ask them these questions, and even after spending hours brainstorming, they will come up with an absurd answer –‘ah, I don’t know. Amm
amm…yeah, ah, I don’t know actually.’ And what’s the worst part? When you
request them that ‘if there’s absolutely no legitimate reason for them to
behave like this, could they please stop becoming stumbling blocks in your
relationship; they will eventually come up with a vociferous - ‘no, no! how
come!!!” Well, these are the utterly pathological people I have given
up on. The only thing you can do here is- ‘break’! Alas…(I wish) not their
nose or face, but their misimpression and false-ego that they are a person of
prominent stature, their vague and lunatic opinion matters to you, and they can
control your life. Indeed, you will have to accept your defeat at some juncture in life to save some precious relations, but if you lose here with
these rubbish people, you’ll undoubtedly suffer forever in your life.
People commonly
associate euphemisms for love as ‘buri cheez,’ ‘career spoiling cheez,’ and
‘zindagi barbad karne wali cheez.’ (Tweaking the all-English article with Hindi
as these three are too relatable verbatim to be translated.) Those who
say it will ruin your career, devastate your life, and you’ll end up becoming
someone like the infamous Kabir Singh; haven’t actually checked the verity of their perceptions. These people have seen someone getting devastated in love (in fact, it’s valid to
some extent in many cases). Still, it doesn’t mean that everyone will! Tell them if
they follow this school of thought, then they should not get on-road or
drive a vehicle because people also die in road accidents. The moment you tell them this analogy, they’ll come up with their quintessential weapon – ‘No,
don’t teach me. Both are different things.’ Well, you know how to
tackle the situation from here on.
To conclude, I
would like to request everyone reading this – ‘Love, and let others love.’
Make this your rule of life, and you’ll witness your happiness and inner peace
levels increasing exponentially. If you’re making someone else’s life challenging,
maybe you’ll have to face the same situation (and the worst case can be even
your youngers won’t stand by your side then.) The hatred seed you’re planting
today for someone else will turn into a thorny tree which will definitely
become your migraine tomorrow.
To all those who are suffering from these torments of society, I would like to tell you all: do a little introspection and ask yourself if you REALLY are in love with that ABC person, aren’t you making a blunder, and aren’t you really going to regret in future? If for all these questions, you get the positive answers coming directly from your heart, then do remember that now it’ll be your exceptional courage, solid commitment, and divine love only that will turn your love’s seed into a heritage lifelong tree (countering all the adversities), make your saucy Maggi tasty (adding the luscious ‘togetherness’ masala), and build a brand-new villa from crunch (even more lavish, and with a stronger foundation.)