After a long week of putting in toil, doing mentally-laborious work for the new client, and facing the torments of my not-so-kind boss, I had finally got some time to relax and was indeed damn excited about it. For the last couple of months, life had hurled tens of stress-filled stones at me, and that had put a significant toll on my mind. I was desperately looking for a break – free from the cacophony of professional glitches, and the hullabaloo of everyday life. All I was looking for was a relaxed and serene sleep, for hours, and days in the lap of my Angel, who actually had gotten the power to eradicate all the detriments in my life and fill any kinda lacunae with her immense love and unconditional care. Every time she was with me, no matter how daunting and long the day would be, the moment I would put my head in her lap, and sense her divine touch on my forehead, all the stress in my life would go in a jiffy. And that indeed was one of the million reasons, I never wanted her to leave me. She was my panacea for all kinds of problems – physical, mental, emotional you say. She had gotten sensible solutions for anything and everything and was my invaluable support to sail through the dangling waters of life.
But adding to the exhausting times, my girl had been to Mumbai for a week for some of her
office work. As I always called her – my oxygen; little did I realize that I’ll actually
have to gasp for breath for a week now, especially at the time when I was needing
it the most. With every passing day, the oxygen levels - denoting the
happiness, peace, and calm in my life were going down at an alarmingly high rate.
She was my go-to person and the impeccable source for granting me eternal
happiness, and sheer contentment with the life that I was living. Anytime,
anywhere, I would feel the dearth of positives in my life, or the negatives overpower
them; she would turn out to be the ocean abundant with everything that I was in
need. I would take a dip in that ocean, get all my toxicities in life washed off, and
immerse myself in the world of tranquility.
Being a top-level manager in her company, she often had to go out, unfortunately leaving me
alone at least twice or thrice a month. But somehow, thanks to the mental and emotional strength that she had instilled in my mind, and the technological advancements that kept us close, no matter how far; I wouldn’t
find it very hard to deal with that aloneness. But this time, I wasn’t alone, rather lonely. All my mental & emotional strength had gone for a toss, and that’s why I was
finding it complicated to live with peace. One week she used to be in Mumbai,
another in Kolkata; it had become the new normal, but as long as I wasn’t dealing
with some serious issue like loneliness, I had somehow learnt to remain connected
to her in the virtual mode only. Certainly, I was immensely happy seeing her
achieving the pinnacle in her career, that too at such young age. But despite
bidding her adieu tens of times already; every time she would go out, I would feel a pinch in my heart and a slight sensation in my eyes.
That’s how profound was my love for her.
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| Photo by Vladyslav Tobolenko on Unsplash |
But this
time, things weren’t as normal as they used to be in the past. And probably that
alone was the reason I wasn’t feeling highly, and loneliness had gripped me. We
hadn’t talked much, or spent quality time together in the last few weeks. All
we were talking about was trivial daily life yes/no things, nothing else than that. The
unconditional love between us that could easily be noticed by anyone in our
words and actions had lost somewhere. And the worst thing being, none of us
actually knew what actually had transpired, that had put our relationship in choppy
waters?
.
.
.
It was a distressing
Saturday evening. I was in no mood to party, or even visit the nearby
garden, the place that I was absolutely in love with. All I was looking for was
to move from couch, to bed, to balcony and sip enormous amounts of caffeine. Lethargy had gripped my body, and was gradually controlling
my mind too. I somehow completed the work for the day. Returning from the
office, I was in desperate need of pampering and cuddling from the love of my
life, and a meaningful hour-long conversation. But knowing the fact that she isn’t
going to be there, I walked with staggering steps, and unlocked the gate with nil zeal, and powerless hands. Not only her absence was making me feel terrible, but also the
challenging period through which our relationship was going. I somehow forced myself
to prepare a hot cup of Nescafe, and filled it into the specially-customized coffee mug, that was her very first gift to me. Since the day she had gifted me that, except for the times when I was out, I hadn’t skipped a single day caressing it with my lips and embracing it twice a day. I took the hot cup of coffee and sat on the couch in the
balcony. That magnificent view of the entire city from the 11th
floor had been actually working as a perfect companion for me, every time in her
absence. I wanted to text her but for no reason, or maybe hundred reasons, just didn’t.
Missing her badly I opened one of the costliest assets of mine – our chats,
from the very first day’s ‘Hi, hope you doing good’, to this morning’s ‘Good morning’.
Reminiscing about her I gradually comforted myself in the couch, and put the coffee cup on the railing.
.
.
.
“…you seem
the world to me. Every time I look into your eyes, I found myself the luckiest
girl in the world. Your hugs feel like heaven to me, and when you hold my hand,
the stars fall from the sky. I just can’t imagine my life without you, not even
a day. I will forever be grateful to the Almighty for sending you in my life. You are the best thing ever happened to me…” Scrolling
up the chats, I struck to the above text of her, and lost in the divine memories of past. I could feel the gentle sensation in
my eyes, but my soul gently smiled at the same time.
I was so lost
in the nostalgic trillion-dollar memories that I actually forgot the pain. The
coffee remained there on the railing, and God knows when I gradually went into a slumber.
.
.
.
At midnight
2’ a buzz in my phone broke my sleep. I rubbed my eyes, lamented over the hot
coffee (that now had turned cold) lying as it is on the railing. Expecting her text, in the modicum of a second, all the
worries, and distressing thoughts disappeared. I picked
up the phone swiftly, embraced her gorgeous face on the lock screen, and unlocked it. The
notification from the top read "dare not to text me again…” With the half-sleepy eyes,
and choked mind, I overlooked it, and opened the doom's gate, WhatsApp.
.
.
.
“Dare not to
text me again. I have had enough of you. You are the worst thing ever happened
to me. Goodbye, forever!”
.
.
.
Maybe the skies had fallen for me in that moment, and I was almost dead-numb for seconds, but I still remember with the best of my conscience that I hadn’t touched the railing, neither there was any storm. Disastrously, the billion-dollar cup, that was one of the biggest treasures of my life fell off the railing (God knows how), shattered into pieces, and so did my heart...