Dear girl 21st Jan. 2019
I am doing fine but I know you aren’t. I want to apologize from all my heart for all the bad times and tears I have given to you. I want to apologize for all the sleepless nights I have given to you. I want to apologize for not being there whenever you needed me the most. Pardon me for all the destruction I have made in your life till day. Pardon me for hurting you every time and doing all those things which you don’t like at all. Pardon me for all the mess I have done in your life and for not even apologizing for it properly. Please forgive me for not talking, not supporting, and not caring at the times when you were really in need. Please forgive me for all the I LOVE Yous I have told but not understanding the essence of these three words.
Before starting with telling you how much I love you, I want to tell you that you’re exactly the girl of my dreams. I had no idea about what exactly love is when I fell in love with you, neither I had any idea about soulmate and all those kinds of relations. I just fell in love with you, without having much idea about our future. I didn’t think at that time, how much effort it would take to make the relationship work and how difficult it is going to be.
By the passage of time, I got to see the sacrifices you started making for the sake of our relationship and eventually for me, for my happiness. I remember all those impossible things which you have made possible just for bringing a smile to my face. Be it, meeting at the most uncommon time of night or chatting and calling on the phone even when your health is saying - a big no. I remember all those times when you have sacrificed your happiness, your leisure, and ultimately your life, just for me. The way you extract the time out of your busy schedule and more importantly doing it so even while being in a group of people in which no one was in favor of it, is something really appreciable and beyond my reach.
It’s been four+ years, we are in a relationship. We have gone through all the bad times or I should say – worst times. You have got to know all the bad in me, you have gone through all my anger even when you weren’t wrong at all, you have faced around thousands of times when I have done something you don’t like. Still, you are there for me every time whenever I need you. Be it giving me the best emotional support at midnight or showering all your care and love on me even when you are getting nothing but betrayal from my side.
I know things aren’t working at this time as they once used to. I know I am not loving you, nor caring for you the same way as I used to do. I know our journey is going through the most difficult phase where there is love, there is the care and there are feelings but there is much more frustration. Maybe the extent of perseverance has touched its highest limit or the Almighty is examining us if our love’s true or not. We know the long-distance relationship sucks. Maybe what we are lacking, is just a big warm hug and everything will go fine then. Maybe what we need is a long conversation sitting together hand in hand or just a dinner date with nothing but so much love. Maybe we need some cuddling together or we need to watch a movie together with popcorn in one hand and putting either one where it should be.
Girl, I really want to see you flying high without bounding you in any way. I want you to get known in the entire world for all the talent and qualities you have. I will always give my all for making you happy and helping you achieve everything you have ever wished. Because what I am today is all your love and support. You have always been the reason behind my smile.
Loads of love
Yours permanent.